Friday, September 3, 2010

Life is Useless UNTIL...

It is useless, useless, said the writer of this note. Life is useless, all useless. Yesterday, today and tomorrow the same: the sun rises and it goes down, going wearily back to where it must start all over again. Monday until Sunday start over and over again, repeating 7 days a week. I hope some days are longer than the others but all are 24 hours, no more; no less. I wake up, breathe, sleep and wake up again. This is useless, all is useless. What has happened before will happen again.

So I said to myself, "Now that I'm 12, I want to do and test everything so that I can find the meaning of this life!”. I ate foods as many as I want but it didn't work permanently. Then I exercise as hard as I can to remain slim but what's the use? Healthy or not soon I'm gonna die too. It is useless. If I eat fruits, vegetables and juice everyday the doctor said that you need some meat. When I eat meat, expert would say it is not good for your health, 'You should eat moderate". Then when I eat moderate, they said eat more this and less that- but what's the use? Soon or later accident may occur and the healthy men die but the sick men will be alive; or worst both die at the same time. This is crazy, all is useless.

I decided to enjoy myself and find out what happiness is. I smoke cigarettes attempt to be cool, I steal someone else belonging for the purpose of having 'fun', I said the cursing words, hits someone with stick/wood, punch my fist and kick the face of my enemies, I watch pornography for my quick pleasure, I joined gamblers 'fun' activities; buy ticket 4D, playing cards etc- nothing can lead to happiness but sorrow and loneliness. This is useless, yes, just a short term happiness, all is useless. But I also discovered that stop smoking doesn't make me more righteous than before, being honest doesn't necessary end with trust, say the good things yet people will doubt your motives, being nice to my enemies and they will 'spear' you at your back (ever sometime friends do that do), watch religious channel doesn't make me holy and stop gambling is not stopping at all because in making everyday decision- I have to make a 'gambling' choices. Useless, what is this but a useless life! I drank wine, rice wine, beer and almost all the famous drunkard beverages for the sake of forgetting all the trouble life have gave me yet tomorrow when I woke up: the thought is coming back in the flash! It had been chasing the wind. Useless!

Finally as I grown up, I said, "Ha... ha... what a fool I was! Chasing after useless things, I can't have my dream house if I keep on like this, I must have money. Money, money, money!” So I work hard to gain it. When I received my salary, I spent it all. Enjoy and please my heart desire- very soon, it all finished! So I plan to keep some every month. If 1 month I keep RM200, then in 20 years I will accumulate RM48, 000! But what if I die 1 years or 2 days later or 1 minute before midnight? Where this money would goes? Even if I earned RM1Million per year, what will it benefits me if I can't take it to the grave and spent it in the after life? This is useless! So what, should I be poor? No! I don't want to beg for money. Moderate? This is useless too! It doesn't guarantee my safety.
But I advice you: Enjoy your youth, do what you want to do, and follow your heart's desire. Since we are in the world, enjoy what it had to offer with wisdom and thanksgiving. Free yourself from worry. What is our life? For we are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes
. Useless, oh… it all useless~

My enemies said, "Isn't you made to be success and dominance over the earth especially created for you?" You fool! Why then, is my Creator want me to gain something that doesn't last forever? Is He so selfish that He want me to hold on to the things of the earth? He gives reward to those who trust in Him. No guarantee that He will bless me on this earth in material possessions, though some He may bless with it for His own purpose- but I'm sure He will bless those who trust in Him in the afterlife.

Then I remember my Creator. I looked at my body; it grows old, decay... day by day... cell by cell... I'm dying and useless...what will remain is my soul. My soul will live forever. My being is in my soul. My emotion is in my soul. My soul will not die, I know that. My Creator created me with soul that reflects to who He is: eternal being. Oh my soul, what I'm gonna do with it? I must be sure now because my eternal life depend on where would I end up with and with whom. He said by Grace through Faith I shall be save not by my work that I may boast. What a relief, because I don't know how much more I should do to be sure, how much 'work' can I achieve to be ready and not living in wonder of either I can make it or not. This is real Hope! So my only choice is to accept His Grace through Faith and also in respond, I, with all I can, keep His commandments with fear and joy. Oh my soul, where will you go? For what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?

My God what shall I do? "None", He said. "It's finished!"
"What do you mean???" the writer said. I walked to and fro in my small room at Petaling Jaya.
Then, I whispered, "What is the Truth?"...

---The End---
(P.S: Inspired by the book of Ecclesiastes. Life is useless until we have a purpose to live) Best Blogger Tips

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