Tuesday, February 14, 2012

How to Building or Rebuilding you Relationship (by no expert)

I not only want to be loved, I want to be told that I’m loved.” (George Elliot)

In his most popular book See You at the Top, Zig Ziglar gives 14 step-by-step procedures to follow in building or rebuilding a happy marriage. Even though he outlines these steps especially for husband and wife; I think that it’s also applicable for boyfriend-girlfriend relationship since I believe that relationship before marriage should be viewed in the big-picture thinking – beginning in dating, starting in married and ending in graves (I got the last one so far, huh?). Any relationship that doesn’t include commitment is not worth to build up for it reflects lust over love.

Enough of this saying, here are 14 steps (summaries & modifications mine) in building or rebuilding a happy marriage or relationship in general:
1.     Remember what you did before you know much about each other. Bring back its original bloom (memories, as I interpret it) and even add a depth, commitment, and beauty to the relationship.
2.     Bare this in mind: Relationship is not 50/50 proposition; it is a 100%/100% proposition. Guys give 100% to the relationship and girls do the same.
3.     Start and end every day with a declaration of love for your partner, and during that day, if it’s feasible, take three minutes to telephone (or sms – at least but not always, depend on the distance) just to chat and express your love.
4.     Surprise him or her with an occasional gift or card (or your latest jokes and romantic words, if you’re earn not much like I am)
5.     Unless distance is your problem, don’t neglect the power of spending some quality time together.
6.     This is simple and most important: be a good listener. Period.
7.     [Emmm…  I have to skip this.]
8.     When you disagree, remember you can disagree without being disagreeable… You can be honest and yet sensitive to each other.
9.     In relationship, someone needs to be depended on to make the difficult decisions. In my opinion, most of the time that someone should be a man. No apologies needed.
10.  You will often have to ‘bend over backwards’ to please or understand you mate. I say, relationship is more important than problems.
11.  This is interesting; Zig Ziglar called this a ‘Recipe’ guaranteed to cook up a happy relationship. “Take Love and Loyalty and mix thoroughly with Faith. Blend with Tenderness, Kindness and Understanding. Add Friendship and Hope. Sprinkle abundantly with Laughter. Bake with Sunshine. Serve generous helpings daily.” Taste yummy huh?
12. Use Ephesians 4:32, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
13. Pray together (at this writing, I still work on it).
14. Keep this in mind. When the inevitable disagreement takes place, who makes the move to ‘make up’ isn’t important. However, the one who makes the move demonstrates the greater maturity and love. Wise!

THINK BIG Be matured in your Relationship with each other
START SMALL Keep on building and rebuilding your relationship,
don’t be static, boring and numb.
GO DEEP Be mature especially in Christ.
Never neglect your first Love – the Almighty God.
Let Him be the center of your relationship.

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  1. Thanks Richard Richie :) God bless you

  2. Replies
    1. There are certain point in relationship, someone need to make a hard-difficult decision such as 'Where to live after married' or 'When want to get properties (house, car etc.)... one have to make the final decision (after a deep discussion)' or 'When having to decide with restaurant to go for family dinner; wife want to go KFC, daughter want to go to McD, son want to go Pizzahutz... so husband should make the last call"... That's hard decision ya know... and so on and on and on...

      I think that's what Richard trying to say :P

    2. Thanks Anonymous.... Maybe words "No apologies needed" should be replace with "Man, after you discuss with your woman, you have to make that decisions. Even thought God created man and woman equal; God had pointed man to be the head - Thus, make decision - feel sorry later."


  3. so true..Let God be the center of our relationship..

  4. Anonymous on Feb 15, 2012 12:08 AM - You're alert with what's the most important point of all... :) Great!

  5. Im always alert as u know who i am hahahahahah.......But the most important thing, couples who pray together will stay together, same goes with families. It's the faith & believe that keep the Love stay strong. I hope i will found my "TRUE LOVE" one day.


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