A student asked me, “How to know who my real friends are?” She has too many friends on her FB’s friends list. She wants to know. She seeks advice and honest talk. Here, I delivered her my respond:
Straight talk – if you want to know who your friends are, your real friends are; 1) make mistake. 2) Visit them when you’re broke. 3) Tell them some honest truths about yourself (especially bad stuffs). 4) See if they still like you just the same when they know all about you. 5) See either they not just give good advice but have all the attention to help you when you need one (whenever they are able to do so). 6) Observe, are they attack you in the front and not behind your back.
I think Phil McGraw said it best, “The true friend is the one who is coming in the door while everyone else is going out. Friends are the ones who love you when you’re not lovable, stand by you when it’s not the popular thing to do, and are there for you when you need it, even if it doesn’t have a big payoff for them.”
Recently, I heard my good friends talked behind my back. I’m so glad and rejoice when I heard the news. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not insane! – Yes, they went around saying nice things about me behind my back. What an honor for me to have such friends. Nor that I want to boast about my goodness (as far as I know - none! In fact, I have to admit that I sometime secretly insert many personal agendas behind every deed that I make. Not 100% genuinely good, I mean); but I want to boast about my friends. Good friends. Why? They are like what William Arthur Ward described, “A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.”
"How to know who are your real friends?" Reread all of the above. Here are my piece of advice (for those who are younger than me) or suggestion (for those who are older than me) or reminder (for those who are my age): Instead of focusing on ‘who my real friends are’, focus on being a real friend to your friends now. Ralph Waldo Emerson once writes, “The only way to have a friend is to be sure you are one.”
Oh ya, I didn’t answered her so lengthy like the above writing because I’m sure she’s reading this NOW. Like 'NOW'.
THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.