From the beginning of time, when God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), people have sought to find someone special with whom to share their lives. For some, marriage has been immensely meaningful, but for others, it’s been pure misery.
What do you need to know before you tie the marital knot? Consider this true story about someone very dear to my heart.
This sweet-tempered, sweet-spirited college student began to date a handsome, winsome young man. He pursued. She pulled back. He pursued. She wanted time. He pursued. She left for summer. He followed her. Shortly afterward, they were engaged and then married.
Meanwhile, I was delighted – what an attractive couple! A few years and a few children later, they divorced. How could this be? I wondered. Many of us were stunned, but we did not live in their home. We did not have all the facts.
How could this be? What happened?
While there were biblical grounds for divorce, in truth, she should never have married him in the first place. This became increasingly clear as she shared from her heart, “June, I didn’t want to marry him. But he constantly pursued me, and I didn’t know how to say no.”
And then she made this statement, justifying her decision: “I remember praying, ‘God, if I’m not supposed to marry him, please stop it’ – but he didn’t!”
For a period of time, she lived with anger toward God, blaming Him for not answering her prayer. Yet, in effect, God had already answered. He had already revealed His will. Simply put, God had not given her peace about marrying this man. Yet she allowed herself to be “people-pressured” instead of Spirit-led.
How much better if she had possessed the strength to “[speak] the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) – the strength to say, “No. I think you have many wonderful traits. I like many things about you, but the type of love I have for you is not a marital love. Saying yes would be wrong toward you, therefore, I must say no.” Saying no when you need to say no requires strength of character.
If you truly desire to prepare for marriage, first yield your will to the will of God. Then, if you are considering a certain marriage partner, pray that you will be led by the peace of God (Or pray that you will not have His supernatural peace if that person is not the right partner for you).
Either way, be encouraged. God wants you to know His perfect will for marriage even more than you want to know it. He promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, [you] should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to [you]” (James 1:5). Therefore, I urge you to pour out your heart to the Lord regarding every aspect of your romantic relationship. Ask for His divine wisdom. When you do, remember: While God always answers our prayers, sometimes His answer is “yes,” sometimes “no,” and sometimes “not now.”
May this book – long with earnest prayer and the wise counsel of trusted advisers – give to such godly guidance that you will know when God is leading you to say yes to marriage and when you need to say no. and on each step of your journey, may His thoughts be your thoughts as you surrender your will to His will.
Yours in the Lord’s hope,
Your ‘seeker’ partner and
I want to offer you this book,
THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
MONTH OCTOBER FREE BOOKS
This month I want to offer you a copy of June Hunt’s Considering Marriage: Are You Fit to Be Tied? This offer is limited to 3 Books ONLY. If you want to have yours, simply do these two things:
1) Complete this sentence: “I desire to learn as much as possible about myself, my future mate and God’s purpose for marriage before I tie the knot. [Your initial name]”
2) Send me your full name and postal address to my e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org OR inbox to my Facebook account. Thank you.