Saturday, February 24, 2018

Help Child Deal with Divorce #2 Annabel, As People Grow They Change

Dear Annabel,

            As people grow, they change. It’s a natural part of life. The same thing happens to some marriages. Your mom and dad change as they grow and perhaps the change doesn’t suit one or both of your parents in the marriage. You know, the same things happened in many friendships – I have already experienced it and you will soon.

            It happened to me. I have a friend in secondary school. We were best friends until we both went to further our studies in different universities. Once awhile we met up and catch up with one another stories. As time goes by, we both started liking different things and hanging out with different people. After 3 years we had both changed so much that we had nothing in common anymore and our friendship ended. Should we have stayed friends because we used to like each other? I don’t think so.

            You know Annabel, after couple being married for a while, some moms and dads even grow closer while others grow further apart. They stop caring. They don’t listen to one another anymore. They yell and fight. They are frustrated and unhappy. Should they stay together just because they used to be in love? Probably not. Commitment, faithfulness, and trust should be established early in the marriage, if not they will easily break. This is the fall of both parents.

Some parents who grow apart stay married because they don’t want to upset their children. You know what? Researchers found that children living with unhappily married parents are often more stressed and less happy than children whose parents are successfully divorced. Maybe amidst this difficulties, dear Annabel, this thing happened to you for your own good. Your mom and dad probably not happy with each other and if they were to continue you won’t be happy either.
Uncle admits that this divorce thing is not easy. Parents feel sad. Kids feel awful. Grandparents and siblings don’t know what to do. Friends from both parents don’t know whose side to take. It’s hard. That is why uncle is very proud of you for taking this matter responsively. Believe me, this thing will not stay messy forever and I promise you, my dear, that this divorce actually turns out to be the best thing for the families – for you.  Stay strong, my child!



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