Monday, September 30, 2019

Book Review: The Leader In You (1993) by Dale Carnegie

The Leader In You: How to Win Friends, Influence People and Success In a Changing World (1993) by Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. with Stuart R. Levine & Michael A. Crom

If you already read Dale Carnegie's masterwork How to Win Friends and Influence People (originally published in 1936), you'll find that this book is repetitive only with clearer examples, simpler chapters and modern touch. If you just read How to Win Friends and Influence People say, about less than 6 months ago, I think you don't have to read this one. But for me, the last time I read Dale Carnegie's book (including How to Stop Worrying and Start Living) was about 3-4 years ago, so this is a good refresher for me because I forget some of the key lessons that he taught. Reading The Leader In You is fun and beneficial for me because this year my focus is on leadership, one of my subject of interests. Although I've read dozens of leadership books, I still can learn greatly from this one. As Dale Carnegie writes, "Keep your mind open to change all the time. Welcome it. Court it. It is only by examining and re-examining your opinions and ideas that you can progress." How true.

This book is published by Pocket Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. and as expected, it is pocket-size, only 230+ pages and 16 short chapters with Carnegie's quote at the beginning and a key lesson for each leadership principles. Dale Carnegie begins the introduction of The Leader In You by explaining that as the 21st-century approaches, the world is undergoing enormous change, and so "the human-relations revolution," a cultural change is here where "a whole new breed of leaders" is required. What the world needs is not hierarchical and bossy ways of leadership, today all the more, we need leaders who mastered the human-relations principles. "What needed is leadership, to help people achieve what they are capable of, to establish a vision of the future, to encourage, to coach and mentor, and to establish and maintain successful relationships."

Let me highlight briefly 5 Human-Relations-Leadership Principles (there are 16) with my favourite quotes:

#1 Finding the Leader In You. "Leadership is never easy. But thankfully, something else is also true: Every one of us has the potential to be a leader every day." Key lesson: The first step toward success is identifying your leadership strengths.

#2 Starting to Communicate. Here are the first steps to successful communication: 1) Make communication a top priority; 2) Be open to other people, and 3) Create a receptive environment for communication. Key lesson: Communication is built on a trusting relationship.

#3 Motivating People. Three important ways to do this: 1) Include others in the process, every step of the way; 2) Treat people as individuals; and 3) Encouraged, recognized and rewarded works well done. Key lesson: Motivation can never be forced. People have to want to do a good job.

#4 Expressing Genuine Interest In Others. "Expressing genuine interest in others – there's no better way to make people interested in you. People respond to people who are sincerely interested in them. They can't help but respond." "Even more important than expressing interest is showing it." Key lesson: There's nothing more effective and rewarding than showing a genuine interest in other people.

#5 Teaming Up for Tomorrow. "The greatest reward a leader can achieve – the greatest legacy a leader can leave – is a group of talented, self-confident, and cooperative people, how are themselves ready to lead." Wow! Key lesson: Team players are the leaders of tomorrow.

These 5 and the other 11 principles outlined in this book is timeless. Since the world today is getting more and more virtual, the need for leaders of today (and tomorrow) to be relational is all the more important. I'm aspiring to be a better leader, I teach leadership lessons in churches and organized seminars twice per year. But based on my personality, relationships are not my strength. I have to work hard and intentional to strengthen my human-relations skills. Why? Because leaders lead PEOPLE. People are the reason leaders exist. Therefore, this book is valuable to me. I recommend this book wholeheartedly. As a closing, I would like to also recommend John C. Maxwell's two books on leadership-relationship: 1) Winning with People (2004) and 2) 25 Ways to Win with People (2005, with Les Parrott). These two books are what I called The New How to Win Friends and Leading People.


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Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Video-Video Ringkasan tentang 21 Hukum-Hukum Kepimpinan oleh John C. Maxwell

Dalam buku John C. Maxwell, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, dia menulis dan menerangkan tentang 21 Hukum-Hukum Kepimpinan yang boleh mengubah kehidupan dan kepimpinan kamu dan saya. Saya telah membuat video pendek untuk setiap Hukum Kepimpinan dalam BAHASA MALAYSIA - meringkaskan, memudahkan dan mengubah - sesuai dengan konteks kita masakini. KLIK LINK untuk menonton!

#0 Semua Orang Boleh Menjadi Pemimpin (
#1 The Law of the Lid (
#2 The Law of Influence (
#3 The Law of Process (
#4 The Law of Navigation (
#5 The Law of Addition (
#6 The Law of Solid Ground (
#7 The Law of Respect (
#8 The Law of Intuition (
#9 The Law of Magnetism (
#10 The Law of Connection (
#11 The Law of Inner Circle (
#12 The Law of Empowerment (
#13 The Law of the Picture (
#14 The Law of Buy-In (
#15 The Law of Victory (
#16 The Law of the Big Mo (
#17 The Law of Priority (
#18 The Law of Sacrifice (
#19 The Law of Timing (
#20 The Law of Explosive Growth (
#21 The Law of Legacy (

JANGAN LUPA <SUBSCRIBE> YA #ServeToLead #21HukumKepimpinan


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Angelus' Quote: Prayer Is Not a Business Transaction

James Banks writes, "There is no blessing greater than God. Prayer is not a business transaction. We do not give something to get something in return. It is relational intimacy"🔥🙏😉 #ServeToLead


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Angelus' Quote: Block, Delete, Left, Unfriend, Unfollow, Deactivate - Your Choice!

Your life is not made by what people think you should be or pleasing others is the goal of your life, your life is made by the choices you make. Who enters? Who stays? Who you choose to influence you? Your choice 😉☑ #ServeToLead


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Angelus' Quote: Leaders Must Grow Personally


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Angelus' Quote: Leaders Turn a Vision Into Reality

Leaders turn a vision into reality. Currently, I'm reading a book The Leader In You and I find that this short story is fascinating. Mother Teresa was a young Catholic nun, teaching high school in an upper-middle-class section of Calcutta, India. But she kept looking out the window and seeing the lepers on the street.

"I saw fear in their eyes,” she said. "The fear they would never be loved, the fear they would never get adequate medical attention." She could not shake that fear out of her mind. She knew she had to leave the comfort and security of the convent, go out into the streets and set up homes for the lepers and the poor of the poorest. Over the years, Mother Teresa and the people of Missionaries of Charity have cared for more than 149,000 (as 1993) people with leprosy, depending on medical attention and unconditional love.

Mother Teresa as an example of a leader? Why not? She makes things happen, she turns a vision into reality and leads thousands of volunteers to love the unloved. That's leadership! 😇😉❤ #ServeToLead


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Angelus' Quote: Three (3) Most Important Questions All Winners Ask Themselves

Actress Helen Hayes said her mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. Her mother advised her: "Achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you.

"Success is being praised by others, and that's nice too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success" 😊 I love success and yet, achievement is more satisfying. Don't stop learning, work hard until you know how to work smart, and do the best as you possibly can 😉 #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: Everybody Needs Encouragement!

After I finished reading a book on leadership, I wrote on the last empty page, something that struck my mind when I read about how Paul encouraged Timothy to stay faithful to his call. I wrote in big letters: "Everybody needs encouragement!"

"I have yet to find the man," said Charles Schwab, "however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism" 😘 Appreciate other, encourage one today #GrowingLeader #ServeToLead


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Angelus' Quote: If You Don't Like the Circumstance You're In, Change It!

I believe that we should not permit circumstances to affect our relationship to God, but rather we should allow our relationship with God to affect our circumstances 😁

George Bernard Shaw, perhaps an atheist but more of a mystic, says it well (although contradict in our core beliefs) and fit with what I want to say: "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and, if they can't find them, make them" 😉 #ServeToLead


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Angelus' Quote: We Are In Charge of Our Attitudes

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past; we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have and that is our ATTITUDE 😇

Chuck Swindoll said I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes 😉 #GrowingLeader #ServeToLead


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Angelus' Quote: Bring Your Children to Christ

Isaac Watts was saved at about the age of 9. His hymns have lifted the hearts of millions. Jonathan Edwards, whose clear testimony and dynamic preaching stirred all of New England for God, was converted when only 7. Matthew Henry was brought to Christ at the age of 11, and through his many years of study of God's Word, he produced his well-known commentaries on the Bible.

Thousands of other men and women have been brought to the foot of the Cross when they were young and their whole life could be dedicated to Christ 😊 Just like my Facebook friend Angel Aren from Miri who brought her young daughter, Steffie Supang, only 7 years old, to Malam Pentakosta happening at Kuching recently, to experience the presence of God and His Spirit that two nights... Who knows the young child will be mightily used by the Lord in the future, even now? 😉 Bring your children to Christ! #ServeToLead #SpiritualLeader


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Angelus' Quote: The 10 Commandments for Guiding Your Children

I have no credential to teach parents 🚫 Its easier to say (and post) until one has their own children. So, with the help of J. David Branon, regular contributor to Our Daily Bread (ODB) Ministry, 😉 here are 10 Commands for guiding your children:

1) Teach them, using God's Word (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

2) Tell them what's right and wrong (1 Kings 1:6)

3) See them as gifts from God (Psalms 127:3)

4) Guide them in godly ways (Proverbs 22:6)

5) Discipline them (Proverbs 29:17)

6) Love them unconditionally (Luke 15:11-32)

7) Do not provoke them to wrath (Ephesians 6:4)

8) Earn their respect by example (1 Timothy 3:4)

9) Provide for their physical needs (1 Timothy 5:8)

10) Pass your faith along to them (2 Timothy 1:5)

#ServeToLead #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: True Beauty Is Character

I have a quote book 😬 and I love this: A lady was once asked the secret of her lovely life. She replied,

"For my lips, I use TRUTH; for my voice, PRAYER; for my eyes, PITY; for my hands, CHARITY; for my figure, UPRIGHTNESS; and for my heart, LOVE"

What a lovely lady 😍 She recognized that true beauty is CHARACTER 😘 #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: Your Children Are Always Watching You

When I read 📖 this short "If I Had" write-up by Diane Loomans (book, Full Esteem Ahead), I know that most parents desire to do it, but sometime missed it. I can sense some of you - parent(s) - would want to do something with your children all over again, but you can't turn back the time Let this be a reminder, read it:

If I had my child to raise over again...

> I'd finger-paint more and point the finger less
> I would do less correcting and more connecting
> I'd take my eyes off my phone* and watch with my eyes
> I would care to know less and know to care more
> I'd take more hikes and fly more kites
> I'd stop playing serious and seriously play
> I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars
> I'd do more hugging and less tugging
> I'd build self-esteem first and the house later
> I would be firm less often and affirm much more
> I'd teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love

[*originally using the word 'watch' but I changed it to 'phone' 📲 because this is often the case] #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: Lord, Make Me as Big as Any Problems

The little soul prays, "Let me off easy" 😔
The great soul prays, "Lord, make me as big as any problems" 😊

The small soul prays, "Lord, let me have a lighter load" 😔
The giant soul prays, "Lord, give me strength sufficient for a hard day" 😊

The weak soul prays, "I get tired and quit" 😔
The busy soul prays, "Lord, stand with me until I finish my task" 😊

#ServeToLead #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: Get this Les Brown's Hunger Recipe!

"When you want something so badly that you refuse to let go, you will probably get it," says Les Brown, my favorite motivational speaker. This is what he called "hunger." Les believes that "when a person gets discouraged, and they will, it takes hunger to develop the courage to try again and again and never quit. Some people are naturally hungry. Others are not hungry enough."

I define "hunger" as a POWERFUL DETERMINATION, almost a consuming fire. When I was rejected by CF due to some outside influence, I cried, but get back up again. When my blog URL was blocked twice this year, I don't give up. When my writing was wrongly accused of causing trouble, I write anyway! I'm HUNGRY! 👇Learn this Les Brown's Hunger Recipe:

1) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE 😎 Stop blaming other people and past negative circumstances for where you are. It is up to you to accomplish your dreams

2) READ AND LISTEN 👂😷 Les would say consume inspirational and motivational tapes. I would like to add, read books on your strengths and interest. Listen to audiobooks and podcasts too

3) DEVELOP A SENSE OF URGENCY 🕰 Take actions now that will move you toward your goals

4) GET AROUND SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE 😊 Find out what motivates them. Pick up their attitudes, especially. Include them in step 2)

5) DEVELOP COURAGE 💪 Overcome your fears. Push them aside. Unmask them and then master them

6) CONTEMPLATE YOUR MORTALITY 🙏 Predict the accomplishments you desire to achieve by the end of life. If you die today, are your life fulfilling God's purpose and desire?

7) PUSH YOURSELF 👊 Operate on a massive, relentless scale in order to accomplish your goals

"With a powerful hunger for your dreams driving you," Les believes, "you will be surprised at the ideas that will come, at the people you will be able to attract and at the opportunities that will unfold." You got to be hungry! #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: Cancer Cannot Kill Friendship!

An enthusiastic believer in Christ, Dan Richardson, lost his battle with cancer. But his life demonstrated that even though the physical body may be destroyed by disease, the spirit can remain triumphant. This poem was distributed at his memorial service:

< Cancer Is So Limited >

It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot eat away peace,
It cannot destroy confidence,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot shut out memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot reduce eternal life,
It cannot quench the Spirit,
It cannot lessen the power of the Resurrection.

[P.s: I dedicate this post to my late friend, man in red t-shirt, Aderus Helena Ngata. No, cancer cannot kill friendship. The power of Christ's resurrection reign! ⚡⚡⚡]


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Angelus' Quote: Most of the Greatest Leaders are Readers

Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said of Tun Dr. Mahathir, when he was appointed as a national reading icon as he was a voracious reader: “Reading has certainly helped in making him a leader with vision and knowledge" 😉 #GrowingLeader #ServeToLead


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Angelus' Quote: Count Your Garden by the Flowers, Never Leaves that Fall

Count your garden by the flowers 🌹 Never leaves that fall

Count your days by the golden hours 🕘 Don't remember clouds at all

Count your nights by stars not shadows

Count your years with smiles ☺☺☺ not tears

Count your blessings 😇 not your troubles

Count your age by friends 👭👫👬 not years

(by Unknown) #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: We Can Alter Our Lives by Altering Our Attitudes of Mind

Dale Carnegie, the author of the famous book, How to Win Friends & Influence People, speaks about attitude:

It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it 😇

For example, two people may be in the same place, doing the same thing; both may have an equal amount of money and prestige - and yet one may be miserable 😡 and the other happy 😬 Why? Because of different mental attitudes 😉 #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: Motherhood Has Made Me Grow and Change Faster

"Men want to improve only the world," says Harriet Freezer, "but mothers want to improve their whole family. That's a much harder task." How true! One such woman is Vella Mathiews. She's an entrepreneur, trainer & consultant at Smart Tycoon Group (STG), a wife and👫 a mother to four children👩👧👧

Even in her busy schedules she always squeezed in some family time on the calendar. When she went for a few days of traveling, after came back she spent time with her children. On challenge and joy of being a mother, she explains, "Nothing, I mean nothing, has made me grow and change faster than motherhood. Last week's lesson has been PATIENT 💆️ because nothing makes you reach the end of yours faster than a toddler."

She continues, "While I think it's natural and normal to lose ur temper on occasion, it's not the sort of a mother I want to be. I'd like to be calm and measured in the face of adversity. I want to be in the present, supportive and engaged. Ever ready to teach, to learn and generally cultivate an enchanted environment for my kids and family." Improvement and continuous learning are what makes a GOOD mother. "It's all that I do on my best days and I'm learning to do on my off days, too," Vella continues.

Add that with godliness and that's what makes a mother GREAT 👸 It was said: "One godly mother is worth a hundred clergy." I believe that behind every great man there is a great woman (and it is not his wife) It is his mother. No woman has the influence, the opportunity, the privilege or the reward of a mother 😉 #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader


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Angelus' Quote: Three (3) Responses for Keeping the ‘Monkeys’ off Your Back

Dr. Kenneth Blanchard, the co-author of The One-Minute Manager, says, “You are helping your people too much if you take responsibility for the care and feeding of their monkeys🐒🙊🙉 ‘Monkey’ in this context refers to the tasks, jobs or problems that are the responsibility of other people. If you take other people’s ‘monkeys’ (responsibilities) on your back too much it will add unnecessary stress to your life and reduce your time for your own main responsibilities.

Here are three (3) responses for keeping the ‘monkeys’ on other people’s backs and off of yours:

1) SUPPORTIVE RESPONSE 🐵 State that you understand the complexity of the other’s problem and that you are willing to talk with them about how they (not you!) can get is solved

2) DELEGATING RESPONSE 🐵 Inform others that this is their responsibility, but give them some suggestions they might try

3) COACHING RESPONSE 🐵 If you feel others do not have the ability to handle their ‘monkeys’ then give them specific directions. Explain the next move or strategy or resources that you would recommend and then supervise what they do

Remember, I repeat, DON’T TAKE other people’s ‘monkeys’! 🙊🙉🐒 #ServeToLead


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